Friday, April 2, 2010

The Induction of Kachaguli Pencil into the Parliment of Backyard Philosophers and major things like that.

I wish the Parliament of Backyard Philosophers was subject to description by Dan Brown. He would have undoubtedly made us sound like something cool and not like the retards that we actually are. (Ok, for all purposes, I’m leaving out people like Masala Chai and the newly-inducted Kachaguli Pencil for the fear of being chased by a broom, or to be made to live without filter coffee for the rest of my life because saying mean things isn’t nice.) But the whole point is, I hope we had this ubercool, ultra-secret mantra to chant, weird, billowing scarlet robes, fine British accent, and more tall people who would die to uphold the noble secrets of the brotherhood.

The parliament of backyard philosophers ain’t anything like the ideal brotherhood.

Firstly because there is no way it can be a brotherhood.
Hello? I’m a girl. A proud one at that too. Thank you very much.

Secondly, we have no secrets to protect, as much as we don’t’ have the cool British accent.

And thirdly, there is no uniformity. We’re not all alike, although we share quite a few similarities. For example, I’m stupid. And they aren’t. We have major differences like that.

But there is this one thing that the bloggers here have in common. We like humor. And we don’t’ hesitate to show off our goofiness to the world. This is our emblem, our anthem, and everything that Dan Brown would love to write about.

So without much ado, let me proceed to introduce our newest Senator.
*drum rolls in the background*

Introducing Kachaguli Pencil!!!! (You must say Tah-dah!) The fine humorist with the magic touch. With cartooning skills that are going to shake this world!
I’m proud that he’s among us. He can make us look cooler. And of course, I’m hoping I can take all the credit. (Ok, let’s forget I ever said that. Ahem). Now he’s a remarkable guy, with a totally amazing talent, and I’m just so glad that he bore with all my pestering and decided to chip in. Thank you for joining. It’s the best decision you ever made in your whole entire life, buddy. (You know, for the extra dramatic effect.)

Hearty Welcome to you, Kachaguli Pencil—the one valiant cartoonist who goes against all odds and who has been brave enough to draw wonderfully detailed caricatures under the nose of the English Teachers when they were teaching in class without ever getting caught, or being sent to jail—an utterly remarkable feat worthy of my complete admiration . That makes you totally worship-worthy, brother! You are one true hero. I’m sure many people will look up to you!

And without further ado, I hand over the pencil to Kachaguli Pencil, because he has a few words to say.]

Hello everyone!! this is kachaguli pencil, im new here!! iv been invited by miss philter kaapi to join "profound word of wisdom" as a guest blogger!!
yay me!
these new developments have come to materialize owing to my awesomeness, & the benevolence of miss pk!! :D thanks miss pk!!

who for some reason took a strange liking to some silly cartoons I drew up in coll, about a dangerously retarded English teacher we both shared in our short stint at Kumarans Pre University college.
funny thing is I seem to have made myself forget the actual name of this teacher in question!, For purposes of my own safety, I shall resort to call her "apechu" which i pronounce thus:

"ape" +"chu"="apechu"! :P

the actual & correct pronunciation & spelling of the name remain unclear to me, but it was really hard to prevent this estrangement, because my variation to the name describes our teacher in a nutshell!!
With all due respect, I have but found some totally uncanny resemblances which force me to use this name in reference to her, which I fine more than apt, because:

1)she was rather hairy for a woman , just like an ape!
2)she had in I.Q of 8, just like an ape!
3)she could be easily provoked & angered, just like an ape!
4)she quite apparently shared her skull with homo erectus, just like an ape!
5)she always kept bananas on her staff room desk, just like an ape!
6)she made her debut into acting with the movie king Kong 2, & made her way into many other feature presentations such as: buddy, mighty Joe young, planet of the apes, MXP(most extreme primate),slum dog millionaire & George of the jungle.
7)she would sometimes pick her hair for fleas, just like an ape!
8) ok that’s enough, i think i might've begun to stray with the last one so I'll stop!

by now I’m hoping iv drawn a clear picture of the kind of person we're dealing with here! this woman practically walked around with a "please make fun of me! ,I’ve earned it" sign stuck to her back!!
so how can one pass up such a generous offer?! & what better way to do it than make silly ,senseless, accurately exaggerated cartoons that depict the everyday life of our English teacher!
kachaguli pencil!!

(*Afternote, for purposes of never being sued:

Don’t’ get me wrong, we aren’t trying to make all the English teachers in this world disappear. I’m hoping that you guys will take it in the right sense of humor. We aren’t trying to demoralize the worth of English teachers here by zeroing in on their exaggerated features, nor are we deciding to be mean. We are but a bunch of bored students who have decided to show you that there exists a direct link between human evolution and apes. I mean, even Darwin did that and didn’t get sued. We are just harnessing our creative instincts in a very harmless fashion, and hope that it will be received in the most light-hearted of ways, because our creativity isn’t anything dense.
You may wait for the beautiful cartoons in the next post in all earnest. I swear you guys will love it!! )


Philter Kaapi said...

And my, your first post has totally blown me away!!! :-)
Thanks for being awesome, and yay for us!!!
Waiting for your next post!

Philter Kaapi said...

hahahah...and "ape-chu" ma'm.
God how could I forget her!!!
Befriending her has made me realise what life is all about. ;)
Brin on the cartoons, pencil!!

kachaguli pencil said...

definately!! :D :D
she was a wise ape, our teacher thought us many many profound things about life..."if u taste the banana, u must slip on the peel too..."

kachaguli pencil said...

awesome is what awesome does!! :P
thanks a lot for all those compliments pk!!
& thanks again for inviting me!!!!!!! :D

Philter Kaapi said...

Oh yes, kp. you said that right.
thanks for the laugh-invoking reminder of the "toast is an english delicacy made of bread" which is undoubtably the greatest thing ever uttered by any english teacher or ape!! :D
And must say my friends have taken a liking to you and welcome you with gallantry. they're just lazy losers who just read without commenting. I'm trying to get them to come here and actually make their voice heard instead of sending me orkut scraps, by implementing something called a death sentence. cheers!!! :)
glad your with us!

kachaguli pencil said...

weeee!!! glad to be here!!
and is that afternote really required???
u think apechu is actually going to look at this stuff??

Philter Kaapi said...

:D you neva know, buddy! u neva know!

ZARDY said...

My friend and I read this and we found the humour quite hilarious. I hope you continue to write(and draw more), KP and PK.


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