When I landed in an extraordinary predicament (as usual), a few weeks back, I had clearly elucidated how I had saved mankind from the greatest of disasters. Turning therapist to bring enlightenment to the lost souls of the world, I had stood there like a beacon, the true hope, the knowledge that lights up our world so as to erase dumbassness from the minds of the confounded.
Aha, I am a great soul. And although it would be nice to say that I'm the only most wonderful person on this earth (that would certainly make me feel special), I shall be modest enough to acknowlegde the presence of souls much, much greater than myself.
There have been many others like me---the really remarkable people, the spiritually enriched, who are intent on guiding you in matters such as how (not) to be a love failure. Linda Goodman, Loos Maada and Sania Mirza, to name a few. Divine people.
But the guru, they say, surpasses all. And today, I consider you bow before this genTAAALman for his profound words of true expression, “isstrait from the heart.”
His questions, such as “How is dha locasshion?” “Wadamdoing?!!!” happen to be one of the most profound questions posed to human kind.
Supreme soul, may thy knowledge save all of the human race: guide them in things like wooing girls, spurring intellectual growth, exhibiting dumbassness and amazing proficiency in how to be pathetic.
Don't forget to bow before the enlightened one, before you take leave. And please mind your chappals.
