Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Perfume Paradox

Greetings dear friends,

This is Dr. Kinetics! After a very long pause, I am here again… to remind you that I am not a doctor. Do not mistake my qualification for an MD. (That would make me MaD!) I am a scientist and I have achieved two PhD’s (Passing Hardly with any Difficulty!) and… now I’m going to write this article for an engineering college’s magazine. I post my profound findings (seldom recognized by the Counsel of Intellectuals) on my blog ‘Ramblings of a MAD Scientist’. I’m not mad! M.A.D. stands for My Application’s Denied (by the Counsil). However, I’m also a member of the Parliament of Backyard Philosophers. You may pretend you are listening!

Now that my introduction is over, once again, let me explain to you the conclusions of my new research. A friend of mine, Torque Singh, recently observed and pointed out to me a very curious fact. And so I decided to get to work on it. Have you never noticed how Axe deodorants never actually work on men, tough the advertisements depict otherwise? Well, they are not fooling you. They cannot, since you are already fools. No, they are just mistaken. You see, women do not appreciate axe as much as men. Women appreciate feminine perfumes.

When I was researching Binaural waves (Alpha, Beta, Delta, Theta, and Omega), I noticed something. The pheromones from the hair of a women (be it a lab assistant or a secretary or just a lovely visitor) are most compelling waves themselves. Now what is it that enhances these pheromones?
I also observed that women prefer chocolate over men. Men do not prefer so much of chocolate. Perhaps we’re jealous, but that’s beside the point. Could chocolate be the factor enhancing the pheromones? I verified it later.

So the Axe manufacturers thought of this too. They tried bringing up chocolate flavors. No progress for the men. Women still prefer chocolate. Something’s still missing. And I concluded: Since men like Axe so much women should use Axe to attract men, and since women like feminine perfumes (such as Dior and Chanel No. 5) so much, it only makes sense if the male half of humanity makes a dive for it.

This lovely scent is the second most powerful wave to have hit me since the Binaural waves (which the Counsel believes is responsible for what they assume is my dementia). If this theory of mine could be put immediately to application, I could guarantee myself a Nobel Prize.

Please ‘stay tuned’. Bye for now!

Madly yours

Dr. Kinetics( MS, PhD, PhD and so on to infinity)

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